PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Eric Trump burst into tears after his father ate all his Halloween candy, witnesses have confirmed.
The younger Trump had reportedly collected a large assortment of candies while trick-or-treating in a yellow Power Rangers costume.
The morning after he had left his plastic jack-o’-lantern pail unattended on Mar-a-Lago’s kitchen counter, Eric found, to his horror, nothing but a jumble of candy wrappers.
“It looked like a wild animal had broken in,” one witness said.
Donald Trump, Jr., said he had “no idea” why his brother was so upset about the incident. “Dad does this every year,” he added.