WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a big win for the senator from West Virginia, congressional Republicans have named Joe Manchin Employee of the Month for October.
Speaking to reporters at the Capitol, Manchin seemed overwhelmed by the award, saying that he was “humbled and honored.”
“When I work hard to keep benefits out of the hands of poor children, I’m not doing it to win a prize,” he said. “I’m just doing what I love.”
Kyrsten Sinema, the senator from Arizona, sent her congratulations to Manchin after learning that she had been the runner-up for the award.
“I knew it wouldn’t be easy beating a great competitor like Joe,” she said. “Maybe next month.”