Canadian MP Elizabeth May took some time out of a speech she was giving to respond to The Orange Felon’s asinine suggestion that Canada would become our 51st state.
After taking a little time to explain how a parliament system of government works, including not allowing billionaire cronies to buy cabinet seats, she got into the meat of the matter by offering an intriguing counterproposal:
I don’t want to belittle Mr. Trump, but on the other hand, hey, Donald, have we got a deal for you? You think we want to be the 51st state? Yeah, but maybe California would like to be the 11th province. How about it? California, Oregon, Washington. You’ve got geography in common with us. And not only that, we’ve already got a carbon-trading system between California and Quebec. We’ve got some strong alliances on our West Coast from British Columbia. There’s been a lot of academic papers on the idea of Cascadia. So California, Governor Newsom and Washington State, Jay Inslee, and newly elected Governor of Oregon, Tina Kotak, help out it. Want to put a referendum to your citizens?
Because this is what you deal with. We’ve got a deal for you. This is what you get. Free health care. Universal free health care. No more one-year-olds who suddenly fall off the Medicaid list and their parents are in the news. news, because they’re trying to do a GoFundMe so they can get their daughter to a doctor. Universal, free healthcare.
Guess what? Those gun laws that your Congress is too afraid to pass because of the national gun lobby? We already got our strict gun laws. That’s why we have the safest streets around the world, or at least in the United States. By the way, the most recent stats, 5.9 out of every 100,000 people is killed in a fatal gun incident, versus 0.88 per 100,000 in Canada. That’s because we have strict gun laws. California, citizens, Oregon, Washington, safer streets, here we already have good gun laws.
And women have a right to an abortion under our universal healthcare system. But you know, we don’t have to stop there. Donald, think about it. You could get rid of all these states that always vote Democrat.
You know what else will take Bernie Sanders off your hands? Proud new Canadian citizen of the great province of Vermont. Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine. We’d love to see you. Our maritime provinces already have deep, deep links and ties. Well, enough kidding around, but honestly, President Trump, get used to it. Canada is a sovereign nation full of, guess what, proud Canadians.
I don’t know about you, but instant universal health care, safe streets, and women’s rights all seem pretty good to me. And to sweeten the deal – poutine!
But I think May did miss the most obvious thing to include in her counterproposal. Canada can take the Great Lakes region – Michigan, New York, Wisconsin and Minnesota. After all, it would be vital for both countries to preserve the largest body of fresh water around. Heck, for all I care, they can call us South Ontario.
It’s a win-win. We sane people will be happy and safe and well care for. And the Orange Felon can have his cultists acting on his every whim.
