Back when I attended West Catholic High, religion was my last class of the day in sophomore year.
The teacher, Sister Eileen, had us go around the room on Fridays and give a short talk on something related to religion. Then there was a Q&A, but there were never any Qs, because no one really put a lot of thought into it.
Finally, one day it was my turn. I gave a nice little talk on reincarnation, and there were so many questions, it took almost the entire period. I thought Sister Eileen would be pleased with my effort but no.
She stood there with her arms crossed and her mouth tight as I finished. She said, “That’s all well and good, Susan, but belief in reincarnation is a heresy and a mortal sin.”
Being the slightly autistic kid that I was, I was puzzled. “Well, ACKSHUALLY, Sister, my research shows that reincarnation was an accepted part of church doctrine, until the fourth century when the Council of Nicea ruled against it.” * Because I was trying to help, right?
Once again, the tight mouth. “Well, I have a masters degree in theology, and I’m telling you it’s a mortal sin.”
“Have you ever read anything about reincarnation?” I asked. She said no.
“Sister, with all due respect, if you know nothing about the subject, and you’ve never read anything about it, your masters degree may as well be in tap dancing,” I said. “It’s just not relevant.” Again, trying to be logical.
She did not appreciate my help. Fortunately for her, the class was over.
Flash forward to my tenth high school reunion. One of the nuns, Sister Ann Therese, cornered me to lecture me. “Sister Eileen used to come home and cry every night after she had you,” she scolded me.
I thought about it. Then I said, “Good.”
Ann Therese was horrified. “Why would you say that?”
“If her belief in what she was doing was so shaky that a 15-year-old could rock her world, maybe she was just in the wrong job.”
So when I finally saw Kevin Smith’s “Dogma”, let’s say I could relate.
*Turns out I was wrong about the Council of Nicea. We should blame the anti-Platonists of the early church instead. Mea culpa! But a good teacher would have simply corrected my sources.
