Michelle Obama is not going to the Trump inauguration because she is not a phony — great for her. I hope we take this as a lesson on the proper way to resist.
“Former President Barack Obama is confirmed to attend the 60th Inaugural Ceremonies,” the Office of Barack and Michelle Obama said in a recent statement. “Former first lady Michelle Obama will not attend the upcoming inauguration.”
I can’t lie, I have never been more joyous after reading a statement from an elected official, because why go to that?
The trend of being a once-elected president and skipping the inauguration began with former President Donald and First Lady Melania Trump back when Biden beat them in 2020. As spectators and people who love this country, we called Trump out for his childish actions, using language like trader and sore loser; however, I guarantee we will not be doing that to Mrs. Obama because: “Who’s going to be there?”
“Who’s going to be there?” Is a simple but extremely valuable lesson I learned from my late grandmother Thelma back in the ’80s. She had just got back in the house from a long day of fishing. Scrawny me, about nine years old, was charged with the task of grabbing the bucket of catfish she snatched up out of the car and bringing it into the kitchen where they would be scaled, gutted and eventually eaten. My grandma’s great friend, Miss Betty, walked in as I completed my task.
“Glad I caught you, we taken some crabs over sister Paula house,” Mrs. Betty said, “You should come by around six or seven.”
“Who’s going to be there?” My grandma replied.
Learning your way through the phony stage of life is something that most of us have to do — especially if your origin story begins in poverty.
And I don’t remember Miss Betty’s answer, or even if my grandma gave a follow-up to that answer — I actually don’t even remember if my grandma traveled to Paula’s house or not — but what I do remember is the look on grandma’s face when she uttered those 5 words, “Who’s going to be there?” The two women shared a laugh and even though I didn’t fully get it, I kind of got it. As I grew older “Who’s going to be there?” had officially become a part of my language, especially after I surpassed the teenage and young adult need to be phony. I imagine former First Lady Michelle Obama has fully ended her phony stage after the first Trump inauguration, which she attended.
Learning your way through the phony stage of life is something that most of us have to do — especially if your origin story begins in poverty. Being a huge phony doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person or a hypocrite; it means you’re just playing the game with hopes of making it to the next level. For example, if some kids that annoy you are throwing a party, and those same annoying kids are also the ones who have connections — like all the good information about summer jobs and internships — then you’ll probably go to that party and act like you are having a good time so that you can potentially benefit from those resources. Or maybe you are in a romantic relationship with a person you can’t stand and you want to leave this person but you can’t because you are only 15 years old and you know nothing about love. This one crappy relationship makes up a huge part of your dating history, which is all attached to this one person, and leaving that person scares you because you don’t know if you’ll ever connect with anyone ever again. So maybe you stay longer than you should because you are a phony. As a phony, I went to baby showers, church, political fundraisers, cookouts, concerts featuring artists I hate and countless dates. Most of us had to be phony at some point in our lives, mainly because of the unexpected, and all of the fear that comes with uncertainty. We don’t know what we can grow into, or what we are possibly able to achieve if we don’t spend time in places and rooms that we don’t want to be in. However, this should be a period of your life, not your entire life.
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The phoniness that Michelle Obama had to subscribe to obviously isn’t connected to a need for success in any way. Next to Oprah and Beyoncé, she’s probably the most famous Black woman on the globe. The phoniness displayed by Mrs. Obama is directly attached to her husband being the first Black president, the coolest president, the most likable president — perhaps the only Black person in American history who was savvy enough to get white racists to vote for him. I’m sure Mrs. Obama — a woman who took her love for this country very seriously — knew that the 2016 presidential inauguration was the beginning of a four-year disgusting joke made up of inexperience, racism and goofy theatrics. She was too good to attend that inauguration, but she is also a great woman who decided to stand with her husband. Thankfully Mrs. Obama has evolved past that and I believe we should take this as a lesson.
Mrs. Obama is an icon, and I’m pretty sure she has better things to do than attend the inauguration of a man who has a long history of being openly racist, openly sexist, and seriously unpatriotic.
I didn’t instantly catch on to the idea of “Who’s going to be there?” But when I figured it out, I claimed that phrase as my own. “Who’s going to be there?” had grown to become the question I feel like I was trained to ask before any event, function or dinner party. As I grew older and continued to live by the phrase, who I offended with my absence seemed to matter less and less. Just because I miss your event, doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you or whatever your cause is. The fact is that I care about me. I am responsible for protecting myself and I should not have to go anywhere that could potentially annoy me, make me uncomfortable, or worse, force me to be phony. Mrs. Obama is choosing to not be phony.
Again, Mrs. Obama is an icon, and I’m pretty sure she has better things to do than attend the inauguration of a man who has a long history of being openly racist, openly sexist, and seriously unpatriotic. If the president-elect takes America as a joke then why must she show up and play too? Why is her husband going? Why are other presidents who know the danger, the history of toxic rhetoric, and the horrors the president-elect is capable of, supporting this event? In many ways, supporting this inauguration is like supporting terror. You cannot be progressive and support terror, it doesn’t work like that.
Michelle Obama is extremely brave for taking that stance and I think we should follow suit. Instead of chasing connections, clicks, and serial networking — we should focus on the people and places that serve us. We should follow love and only venture into places where we are able to create love. The people who voted for Donald Trump and his administration in general don’t seem open to the idea of a universal love for all, which is unpatriotic and forces me to ask the same question again — why go?
There’s too much love in the world to waste time in places of hate.
Michelle Obama 2028?
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